Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
