I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
