chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
