it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
