If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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