About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
