I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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