Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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