I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
