can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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