I want to stick my p in your. b.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
