i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We got so high we made milksteak
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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