i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just google imaged poop.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
