Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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