im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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