Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
