There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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