Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
