I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
