Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he puts the penis in happiness.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
