I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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