More tranny stories later!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I didn't notice because vodka
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
