watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
