I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
