I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently you make a good broom.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
