winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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