This is not my ceiling
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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