I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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