Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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