i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
