Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
