i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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