i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm sobbing to NWA
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
