Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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