So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
