Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
