he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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