Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
