arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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