fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
