just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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