I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
