69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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