if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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