Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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