either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
