oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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