Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
