He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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