It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
